Madonna Shares Devastating Story About Losing Her Mother And The Trauma She Still Has From It

Madonna’s sweet tribute to her mother left fans in tears.

The Queen of Pop wrote a lengthy post where she told an intimate story about losing her mother when she was five.

It was a huge trauma for her, and the way it happened had lasting effects well into her adult life.

The fact that she grew up without a mother caused her to have a complicated relationship with the concept of motherhood, but she’s incredibly happy she got over that and loves being a mother.

Her children are her pride and joy, and she wishes her mother had been around to meet them.

Madonna Recalls Traumatic Story About Losing Her Mother

The Queen of Pop recently opened up to fans about a very personal and painful story. Madonna has always been the absolute image of strength, and it’s not often she’s openly vulnerable, but she wanted to honor her mother, and she did so beautifully.

“I stood on stage for 81 shows staring up at the beautiful face of my mother and wondering what she must’ve been thinking as she waved goodbye to me from her hospital window,” she wrote on her Instagram. “I stepped into the station wagon and shut the door not knowing it was the last time I’d see her.”

Madonna was only five when her mother died, so no one thought to explain to her that she was sick, which caused her sleep-related trauma she still battles with. “Nobody told me my mother was dying – I just watched her disintegrate mysteriously and then she disappeared and there was no explanation except that she had gone to sleep,” she shared, “which explains my tumultuous relationship with sleep.”

While she was obviously hurting as she wrote the emotional post remembering her mother, she was also happy to be around her supportive family. “Tonight all of my children sleep under one roof which is rare and comforting,” she added. “They grow up too fast and spin out in different directions. And yes I have a hard time letting go.”

Madonna On Being A Mother After Growing Up Without One

It’s not the first time Madonna has talked about her mom, and she admits that she always misses her and wishes she could have been around to teach her things she had to learn on her own. Especially when she became a mother herself, the pop legend longed to have someone she could go to for advice.

“I miss my mother every day and have fantasized for decades of what it must be like to have a mother to: call on for help, guidance, care and wisdom and yet I rejected the idea of being a mother well into my 30s because I associated motherhood with sacrifice suffering and ultimately death and I wanted none of that,” she wrote for Mother’s Day last year.

This changed almost instantly once she had her first child, and the all-encompassing love she felt got her through the confusion and uncertainty.

“To say that I am proud of my children sounds arrogant or implies ownership. Better to say that they are all shining stars and I’m happy that their souls chose me to be their mother,” she wrote.

“And dear Mother… wherever you are. I hope you are happy with your grandchildren!! I often imagine you singing and dancing with us in the kitchen.”