Jennifer Lopez has opened up on falling in love with her husband and ‘soulmate’ Ben Affleck, the effects of their breakup and rekindling their romance 18 years later, as she promotes her forthcoming album.
The singer, 53, and the actor, 50, dated in the early 2000s and got engaged, only to call-off their wedding in fall 2003, blaming excessive media attention.
The celebrity couple known as ‘Bennifer’, reconnected last year and got back together, going on to tie the knot in a stunning ceremony in Georgia in August 2022.
Candid: Jennifer Lopez has opened up on falling in love with her husband and ‘soulmate’ Ben Affleck, the effects of their breakup and rekindling their romance 18 years later, as she promotes her forthcoming album
Speaking to Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1 to reflect on the 20th anniversary of her landmark album This Is Me…Then, Jennifer got candid about her and Ben’s love story.
She explained how they first fell for each other as they filmed their rom-com Gigli in 2001, a famously critically panned film and box-office bomb, and that it wasn’t love at first sight, but a slow burner that developed over time and then was cemented as they filmed Jersey Girl together in 2002.
Jennifer said: ‘I think what happened is, as we worked together, we became such good friends. We realised that we were crazy about each other.
‘I found myself kind of thinking about him after the movie was over. And having to take care of my own business, because I was coming out of a relationship at that time.
‘But it’s like you just knew it. It’s just like, “This is the person I want to be with.” And that happened over a period of months. It wasn’t an instant thing because we weren’t allowed to do that. Yeah, it kind of grew over time.’
Loved-up: The singer, 53, and the actor, 50, dated in the early 2000s and got engaged, only to call-off their wedding in fall 2003, blaming excessive media attention (pictured in November)
However, the hitmaker went on to blame the media attention on their relationship as its downfall, saying that it ‘destroyed’ them while fuelling their professional lives.
She said: ‘It was a new thing and it destroyed us. That was part of what destroyed us was the outside energy that was coming at us. And we loved each other. It was hard.
‘It felt, at times, unfair, but neither one of us is that person to be like, woe is me. So we were like, well, we just got to dust it off and keep it moving. I think, in the weirdest way, that it motivated both of us to then become and do the things that we wound up doing, which is going into hyper-gear.
‘He went into hyper-gear and I went into hyper-gear. But not together. We had to do it separately. He went on to start directing, win his Oscar, do his second Oscar, do his thing where people had written him off in a way. The same thing with me.
Rekindled love: The celebrity couple known as ‘Bennifer’, reconnected last year and got back together, going on to tie the knot in a stunning ceremony in Georgia in August 2022. Jennifer Lopez says new album captures love story with Ben Affleck
First meetings: She explained how they first fell for each other as they filmed their rom-com Gigli in 2001, (pictured) a famously critically panned film and box-office bomb
‘It was just like people were like, “Her music career’s over. She’s this, she’s that.” You know what I mean? I wasn’t getting movies. I had to power my way back. I had to work and work. I got divorced and I was like, “Okay, I’ll do the reality show. I’ll do the television show. I’ll do the single. I’ll do this.” And it was just, “Okay, I’m going to go on tour for the first time.”
Ben went on to marry Jennifer Garner in 2005 and had three children Violet, 16, Seraphina, 13, and Sam, 11 while Jennifer had twins, Emme and Max, 14, with ex-husband Marc Anthony.
She called their breakup the ‘biggest heartbreak of my life’ and gushed about how the couple finally got their ‘happy ending’ 20 years down the line.
She said: ‘Dude, I wouldn’t even perform these records. It was so painful after we broke up. Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die. It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right.
Heating up: She said that it wasn’t love at first sight, but a slow burner that developed over time and then was cemented as they filmed Jersey Girl together in 2002 (pictured)
‘But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most would-never-happen-in-Hollywood ending. “That would never happen. We’re not going to write that because nobody would believe it” ending.
‘It’s funny because when me and Ben got back together, he was like, “You never performed the songs. You never did I’m glad. You never did this. You never did that.” I was like, “You’re right. It was painful.” It was a part of me then that I had to put away to move on and survive. It was a survival tactic, for sure.’
Speaking on how they fell back in love, Jennifer said that the pair had to go their separate ways only to come back together, and said now they were older they were surer of their love than ever before.
She said: ‘I think now that we’re older, we realise, it’s much more clear, because even in ‘Then’ when we felt that way, now we know. Now, we know. And there is no questions and there is no kind of like, “Well, let’s see how this goes.” Like, “Nope, it’s me and you. That’s it. All the way, till the end. That’s it. It’s going to be us.”’
Zane asked: ‘Was it quick? When you came together again and realised that the love was still…’
Split: However, the hitmaker went on to blame the media attention on their relationship as its downfall, saying that it ‘destroyed’ them while fuelling their professional lives (pictured in 2003)
Jennifer answered: ‘Immediate? That was the immediate,’ while Zane finished: ‘We’re not wasting any more time.’
Jennifer replied: ‘We’re not, we know. We had our kids and we had to tread lightly and carefully so they could come along with us…Because they didn’t live those years before. And they’re like, “Wow, they’ve known each other forever.” And that’s it.
‘We did know each other forever, and we had to live these separate paths and we did other beautiful things and we had these amazing children.
‘But when we came back together and the universe and God and, as it would have it… Once we got whole enough and complete enough and loved ourselves enough and could stand on our own two feet really completely, as the universe would have it, we were brought into each other’s lives again.
‘And it was a crack in the clouds and that song came through and it was like, “Boom, that’s it.” And we were both very sure.’
‘Happy ending’: She called their breakup, the ‘biggest heartbreak of my life’, and gushed about how the couple finally got their ‘happy ending’ 20 years down the line
Gushing about Ben, Jennifer called him her ‘biggest fan’ and described how his support made her feel ‘so inspired and overtaken with emotion.’
She said: ‘He loves that album. He loves that music. He knows all of the words. You know what I mean? It’s crazy. He also was with me while I was creating it.
‘You know what it is to make an album. You’re listening to the demos in the car. You’re listening to the mixes. “I wrote this today. What do you think of this?” It was that over and over again for two years while we were together, two-and-a-half years that we were together. He knows it so well and he loves it so much.
‘He’s my biggest fan, which is awesome, and supporter. When he came back into my life again, the same thing happened where I felt so inspired and so overtaken with emotion that it was just pouring out of me.’
Jennifer is now preparing to release her latest album This Is Me… Now, on the 20th anniversary of her album This Is Me… Then, in order to preserve this moment in time with Ben.
Supporter: Gushing about Ben, Jennifer called him her ‘biggest fan’ and described how his support made her feel ‘so inspired and overtaken with emotion’
She explained: ‘I fell in love with the love of my life. I was working on an album and it was called ‘This Is Me… Then’. It was all about capturing that moment in time. Now, the most amazing, incredible, unbelievable thing has happened. The reason we’re here is because I want to capture this moment in time because it is even better than the first time.
She went on: ‘It is a little bit like the Twilight Zone. It doesn’t happen. That album, ‘This Is Me… Then’ really captured a moment in time where I fell in love with the love of my life. It’s all right there on the record. I didn’t even realise what was happening and what I was doing.
‘It was just every day going from the set to the recording studio, doing the thing, being in love, him coming into the studio, writing I’m Glad and going, “This reminds me of… ” You know what I mean? Me tweaking the lyrics with him. Every single song that we wrote there, me writing ‘Dear Ben’, it was such a special moment in time to have captured.
She described the 2002 album as ‘prophetic’, saying: ‘I decided to call it This Is Me… Then, this moment in time was captured of finding your soulmate in that time and it’s all there.
‘When I listen to the lyrics now, I didn’t even realise I was writing some of our story that would happen, which was sick still. Some of the records on there, which were more obvious about Ben, but even records that you were like, “That’s a breakup record,” I didn’t even realise that it was prophetic in a weird way.’
JLo went on: ‘A lot of artists feel, I think, or my experience with other artists is that when they’re suffering, when they’re in pain, they come out with this really crazy art.
‘For me, it’s the total opposite. When I’m in love is when I’m inspired the most. I was the most inspired then and I have not made another record like that since then.
‘This Is Me… Then’ really captured a moment in time where I fell in love with the love of my life. It’s all right there on the record. I decided to call it This Is Me… Then, this moment in time was captured of finding your soulmate in that time and it’s all there. When I listen to the lyrics now, I didn’t even realise I was writing some of our story that would happen.’
Delving further into the message of This Is Me Now, Jennifer said it’s about realising that true love does exist and that you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
She said: We captured me at this moment in time when I was reunited with the love of my life and we decided we were going to be together forever. The whole message of the album then is this love exists. This is a real love.
‘Now I think what the message of the album is very much if you were wondering if you have, like me at times, lost hope, almost given up, don’t. Because true love does exist and some things do last forever and that’s real. I want to put that message out into the world and that does take a lot of vulnerability.
‘But I couldn’t stop myself and some parts of it scare me. And I think parts of it scare Ben too. He’s like, “Oh, do you really want to say all this stuff?”And I’m like, “I don’t know how else to do it, baby.”
‘I went into it with the attitude of I’m going to capture this moment in time. I’m different than I was 18, 20 years ago. I’m different than I was 20 years ago. I’ve grown. I’ve learned things. I’ve been through some s***. I’ve had some hard times. I’ve been through divorce. I’ve been through a lot of different difficult relationships at times and private things that happened.
‘But it got me to this place and it was just about let’s capture who I am right now, here today, and what I’ve gone through. I mean, we have songs on there that are talk about what this life is for me.
‘Whereas Jenny From the Block was me going, “I’m still Jenny from the block. I know I’m famous now and all this, but I’m still Jenny from the block.” Now I’m talking about my life is not all hearts and flowers like you thought it may have been. Let me tell you a little bit about what it was like.’
Jennifer spoke about the possibility that she would tour the new album, saying: ‘Without a doubt. I’m either going to tour or go to a residency. I’m going to create this show. I will create this show. Yeah. This Is Me Now and Then tour. Now and Then tour, we should call it. We just did it. That’s it. It’s done. Listen, I never know what’s going to happen. I don’t want to go away too much right now. I want to be home.’